Good morning brothers and sisters. The topic I will discuss with you today is how I find peace in Christ. Some people have a hard time with this season with the colder temperatures, brutal wind, browner vegetation, and dangerous travel conditions. However, I love this season for a variety of reasons. I love seeing the serene and pristine landscape of newly fallen snow, I love sledding with my kids, I love a good hot chocolate, I love watching the flames flicker in our fireplace, and I love to cuddle up with my wife. Additionally with the Christmas season, we celebrate He who brings the truest happiness and peace we can feel. We often reflect on Christ and what he means in our life. For us as a family, we have an advent calendar where we read a daily scripture and hang an ornament that reminds us of what Christ has done for us. This causes me to reflect on what truly brings peace in my life. Three main topics come to my mind when I think of what brings me peace: entering the covenant path, receiving all of God’s ordinances, and living our covenants.

Entering the Covenant Path

Entering the covenant path was the first critical step for me to start receiving peace in my life. Countless stories have been recounted about the peace people have felt when they entered the covenant path. My story is no different. Like one of my sons, I was very short for most of my young life. It wasn’t until the eighth to ninth grade summer that I had a growth spurt. Additionally, I was a very competitive child (and still am), and I had thick bottle cap glasses (before Lasik my vision was 20/1500 or -5 in contacts). These issues altogether led many to pick on me. I was constantly and relentlessly picked on. My mom, doing the best she knew how, told me to stand up for myself and fight back; however, I think this only fueled the fire as those who picked on me got the reaction they wanted, so they kept coming back for more. I felt that there was an incident nearly every day where people pushed me, tripped me, said mean things, called me names, picked me last for teams, excluded me from some activities, accused me of making pot, spit out and slapped a loogie on my leg, and so on. This led to thoughts where I questioned my self-worth and even contemplated thoughts of suicide. I admit that my responses were not very courteous either as I was trying to defend myself, but I was at a loss of what to do.

Conversely, my ninth-grade year and high school years were the best years of my childhood. Yes, I was able to ditch the bottle cap glasses after constantly pleading to my mom. Yes, I grew several inches to bring my height on par with most people my age. However, I believe the main reason was my true in-depth study of the scriptures that started around the time of seminary. Yes, I was baptized when I was eight, but I don’t feel I truly entered the covenant path until I actively lived the covenants. I never had truly read the scriptures before, and the words I was reading spoke to me in ways I never felt before. I learned about trusting God. I learned what Christ did for me. I was at peace. I was happy. I experienced what we hear in the song, Peace in Christ:

He gives us hope
When hope is gone
He gives us strength
When we can't go on
He gives us shelter
In the storms of life
When there's no peace on Earth
There is peace in Christ

In D&C 130:20-21, we read:

20 There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—
21 And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.

We learn in these verses that blessings come from obeying God’s laws. One of these blessings I have felt from entering the covenant path and adhering to God’s laws is the blessing of peace. President Nelson in his April 2011 General Conference address titled Face the Future with Faith said the following about obedience and its blessings:

Teach [your children] of faith to keep all the commandments of God, knowing that they are given to bless His children and bring them joy. Warn them that they will encounter people who pick which commandments they will keep and ignore others that they choose to break. I call this the cafeteria approach to obedience. This practice of picking and choosing will not work. It will lead to misery. To prepare to meet God, one keeps all of His commandments. It takes faith to obey them, and keeping His commandments will strengthen that faith.

Receiving the Ordinances

Receiving all of God’s ordinances has helped me to continue to have peace. After my initial testimony, I found it easy to stay on the covenant path because of the peace I felt with each step. First it was becoming a priest, then becoming an elder and receiving the Melchizedek priesthood, next entering God’s temple, subsequently serving a mission, and finally being sealed to my wife. There was always something to look forward to. However, it has been harder in my later adult years, because there wasn’t the next “great thing.” Over the years, I have realized that it isn’t about the next defining moment, but rather multiple small and seemingly inconsequential moments that make the difference and bring peace to my life. The great thing about these earlier ordinances and covenants is that I remember the joy I experienced when receiving and making these covenants. This feeling is a stark contrast to what I frequently experience out in the world. It is a good reminder to help me distinguish between what brings peace in my life and what doesn’t. I can’t say that I have felt peace every time I go to the temple. In fact, it has been difficult for me because everyone talks about their great experiences, and I go and question what I am doing wrong and why I am not having the same feelings. Regardless, I continued to attend and just this past week I had a strong feeling of peace again. I can’t promise that I will feel peace every time hereafter; however, these moments are enough for me to remember and push forward which brings me to my next point.

Living the Covenants

Living the covenants will bring us peace that we cannot find anywhere else. There are many covenants we make associated with the ordinances we participate in, and I could focus on many of them and how they bring me peace. However, the ones I am going to focus on in the remainder of this talk are due to the disturbing trends I see in the world. I wish to discuss one of the covenants we make in the temple which is to avoid “loud laughter, light-mindedness, and evil speaking.” Just look at how the world deals with each other on the news, social media, and other venues. I believe one driving factor is the fact that you can say anything online without much consequence. Similar behaviors are emerging even among our family and friends who have made sacred covenants. In my experience, all three of these are contrary to experiencing peace with ourselves and others.

Loud Laughter

First, loud laughter is laughter that is perverse, is at the expense of others, blasphemes the sacred, corrupts our worship and daily living, and crowds out the nudging of the spirit (https://reading.spiritualcrusade.com/2019/02/light-mindedness-and-loud-laughter-what-is-it-exactly.html). The examples of crude jokes or sarcasm come to mind. On a few occasions after encountering a movie with some crude humor, I have expressed to others my disappointment about why the scene was necessary. To my dismay, I would hear responses back such as, “…but it was so funny.” Additionally, the media frequently portrays parents, especially husbands and fathers, as foolish or unintelligent as compared to children for the sake of humor. The one I struggle with is sarcasm as I know that I can and should reign it in (sorry Jeramie for my sarcastic comment yesterday). In my experience, the peace I feel from avoiding that movie or show with a questionable scene or joke far exceeds my experience of trying to satiate my FOMO then feeling sick about it later. The peace I feel knowing I spoke to and about others kindly is far better than thinking for hours or days about the negative but funny comment I made at someone’s expense.

Light-mindedness

Second, light-mindedness is “idling our thoughts” (D&C 88:69), devoting one’s interest to modes, styles, fads, and manners of speech and deportment that are passing and trivial (“Sacred Vestments”. In Temple and Cosmos: Beyond This Ignorant Present, pp. 553), or darkening our minds with unbelief because we “treat lightly the things we have received” (D&C 84:54). The examples of Netflix binges, video-gaming, or social media use (especially the latest fad like TikTok) come to mind. I remember seeing a video about how if you take a transformer out of the microwave and connect it to two metal bars it will burn really intricate and beautiful patterns in the wood. However, all it takes is for a person to brush up with their skin against the connection and they would be instantly killed. This happened on multiple occasions. What isn’t shown in these latest fads, is the dangers that lurk behind the fad or the dangers of the fad itself. Satan dresses things up as beautiful and entertaining but leaves us hollow or spiritually dead if we are not careful. As is evident with previous social media platforms, new ones will come and go. In my experience, the peace I feel by experiencing a real-world but “duller” environment over the mind-numbing but entertaining video game is refreshing and satisfying.

Evil Speaking

Third, evil speaking of others comes in many shapes or forms such as gossip or anger, but the term I want to talk about is the negative aspect of criticism. Webster’s dictionary has a range of definitions for criticism, from being “inclined to criticize severely and unfavorably” to “exercising or involving careful judgment or judicious evaluation.” The former more negative definition is the one that our society most frequently associates with the word criticism. Dr. Oliver from LifeRelationships.com states the following on the topic of healthy criticism:

The sad news is that there is way too much sarcasm, cynicism, and criticism in our society and this is especially true in the middle school and high school culture. Much of what our kids hear, see, and experience on the campus and in the media involves putting other people down and since negativity breeds more negativity it’s easy for this to become a habit…There are all kinds of spiritual and psychological explanations for this tendency but the bottom line is that it is not only destructive to the one being criticized but it is also destructive to the one doing the criticism and that’s the reality the chronically critical people tend to miss…There is an old Native American proverb that says anyone who grabs a cactus to throw at another person ends up with cactus needles in their own hand.”

As a teacher, I am constantly asking my students for feedback on how I can improve my courses. The responses I get range from very poor almost destructive criticism to very favorable and helpful feedback. In my experience, there are several questions that we need to ask ourselves when offering criticisms. In fact, take a few seconds to think of an experience when you were critical and answer these questions:

1. Am I critical of myself, my marriage, my kids, my job, my church, or leaders?
2. Is my criticism unwarranted?
3. Am I responding this way because I feel threatened or because of my own insecurities, jealousies, or petulance/childishness?
4. Am I voicing criticisms publicly instead of individually?
5. What do I feel in my spirit when I am critical?
6. Do I feel happier and more positive, or do I feel depressed and drained?
7. Do I feel better about myself and others after giving criticism?
8. Am I more critical with others who are critical about others?
9. Is it fun being around me or others that are critical?
10. Am I quick to praise, compliment, and encourage?

I am not going to give the correct answers to these questions, but if you want to discuss them further feel free to schedule a time to visit me during my office hours. However, I will offer this proverb. Proverbs 15:28 says that “the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things”.

Jesus Christ offers a perfect example through his experience with the woman taken in adultery. First, Christ could have said, “All of you here are guilty of sin. You have no right to cast a stone!” Instead, he stated, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her” (John 8:7). He gave them the choice to act on a non-condemning statement. Second, after everyone was gone, he spoke privately with the adulterous woman. Third, he offered his encouragement by saying “…go, and sin no more” (John 8:11). Likewise, in D&C 121:43, we learn to “reprove betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then show forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy”. My wife and kids are witnesses that I have chased peace from the home on many occasions when I have criticized my children’s behavior without following this pattern. However, I have had many occasions where I have followed this pattern and walked away thinking, “I did that so well.” The peace I felt in these moments are some of the most powerful because they assure me that I am capable of overcoming one of my greatest weaknesses.

The last and ultimate way I experience peace is through daily repentance. I know that when I make mistakes, I can overcome it all through Jesus Christ by having faith and repenting The scriptures are full of examples of those who experienced peace when they repented (e.g., Nephi, Enos, The Sons of Mosiah, Alma). I exclaim as well that when I repent, I lose the burden of sin weighing on my mind for days. When I repent, peace fills my heart and my home. When I repent, I feel the overwhelming love from my Savior and encouragement that I am doing well enough.

Testify…